


Girl's Night

by Grubbutts



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Clothes Shopping, Confessions, Fluff, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Dave, Internal Transphobia, Internalized Homophobia, June Realizing She's Trans, M/M, Other, Out of Ignorance, Transphobia, mall date, please mind the tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 02:43:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21206126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grubbutts/pseuds/Grubbutts
Summary: When Dave comes out as genderfluid, John does a bit of thinking. He just got over the whole "guess I'm not straight" thing with his feelings for Dave, but now he's got him thinking about his own gender...They end up clothes shopping at the mall and trying on all sorts of things. What's this?.... a skirt... it looks nice...---Please mind the tags, there's some internal transphobia as June tries to think and learn about this stuff





	Girl's Night

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like this!! Please mind the tags, there's some transphobia (out of ignorance) that reflects my own experiences being trans but it's still transphobia. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this and this was something you were asking for! Please feel free to ask me to change anything!!

You didn't really think that this stuff was for you. Like yeah sure you knew it was a thing that existed but that’s other people stuff. Like the desert. You know it’s hot but you can’t think of a time in your life where you’d have to actually deal with a desert! You never expected you had to deal with _this_... That is until Dave came out to being genderfluid, and all of a sudden you felt all weird about it. It's not a bad thing!! You're just a little confused.

You suddenly don’t understand anything. 

You compare stuff with yourself and with him. Him? He doesn't care about pronouns, he says he's okay with any of them. But he still calls you bros so you're really not sure what to think. If he says to call him something else then that's what you'll do. He still goes by Dave-- that's a boys name, right? But then Jade tells you that since he identified as genderfluid, Dave is a genderfluid kind of name. You think it makes sense? Rose also points out the he/him pronouns don't necessarily signify any gender roles and teaches you about he/him lesbians.

'Teach' is a very strong word. Mostly like you were sat in a classroom and drooled while she lectured you into a headache. Not that any of this is bad!! It's good and it's valid! You're just…

There's a lot to think about that you hadn't really thought you needed to think about before. Who'd have thunk it? 

You try to relate it to your own experiences. What if you were going to go out as a girl and used the same pronouns and name? Ugh no, that would be so weird. Getting called 'John' when you're all pretty and swaying your hips like the girls do. Well Jade doesn't really do that. Is that a girl thing to do? What is a girl????

You're not even going to touch on what this would mean for your feelings for Dave. You only just got over the whole 'oh wow I guess I'm not straight' thing but now you might be? Sometimes? Is that how this works, you really don't know.

You don't know a damn thing. 

Rose is very patient with you at least, and she explains things alongside with Kanaya. You can't tell Dave you're having a crisis about this though. Remember the last time you got all fucky with 'what is a real Dave' on the Prospit ship? Yeah, no way. You're getting all these facts in first before you say something really stupid again. 

It's really embarrassing when Dave wears skirts. Not that you don't want to be seen with him! You just don't know how to act.

"No different."

"What?" You ask.

Rose smiles and shakes her head, "Act no differently John. They're expressing themself as they are, you don't need to treat them differently from how you have been with your friendship."

That just doesn't make sense. "But then what's the point of gender stuff if there's no difference?"

Kanaya snickers behind her claws and nods at you, "I've asked the same thing myself before. Trolls don't care for this all that much unless it's a special fixation."

"There's a subtle difference, but how you treat them doesn't change." Rose's voice is soft but you can tell she's getting a little frustrated with you. Or maybe you're just frustrated with you.

You huff and furrow your brows. You guess it makes sense. Sort of. There's too many implications for what this all means. It's so much easier to be all 'ok so this person is a boy so that means they do boy things' except that has been changing a lot and boy things aren't what boy things used to be and now suddenly there's boy things, girl things, genderfluid things, trans things. And they overlap everywhere which is okay!! You have no problem with it!! It's just hard to get used to.

Rose tells you to think about it more. A lot more. And to do your own research. What good is a seer of light if she won't tell you everything?? Sheesh. But she has a point. You google things, a lot of things, coming up with different websites and articles and videos. Testimonials and interviews. 

It's… really hard to learn all this without relating to yourself and feeling… weird about it. 

You grew up as a boy, you were raised as a boy, you did boy things. Dad called you a man and he was proud of you for being his son. What would that mean if you changed? Would he still be proud of you? Would you actually be changing? You're a boy, right? You didn't really have a choice in that, it's just how it is. Doesn't take away the identity of trans men, though as you're learning they didn't really have a choice too. But a lot of times they started out thinking about what it would be like if they did.

…

What if you could choose?

The obvious answer is a boy, that's what you're used to, it's what you know. Except it doesn't sit right with you. Makes your gut feel all weird and uncomfortable. But as luck (or Rose) would have it, Dave's going to one of the new carapace malls that opened up to see what sort of clothes they can find and invited you to come along.

Neither of you really need clothes, you have your god tier outfits and your own godly alchemiter bullshit. But it's nice to do something that you would have done back at your old Earth.

"Do you miss it?" You ask, marveling at the huge mall. It looks just like in the movies.

"Miss what?"

"Earth and stuff. I didn't get to go hang out with friends at the mall before so this is really cool! But I don't think there were as many carapacians."

Dave snorts and drags you into a Macy's. They have a Macy's here? You wonder if they still do Thanksgiving parades. "No way man, that shit was oppressive. New Earth is where it's at, like look at this shit."

His smile and excitement are infectious and you automatically giggle when you look around. Okay yeah this isn't the Macy's you're used to. There's no gender organization, only race. Different sections for different species, and the design is way more off the wall. The trolls outfits are either plain or really fucking extra. The carapacians clothes are all based around designs similar to your god tiers. And the human clothes… they actually look kind of normal. 

"C'mere, Roxy was giving me the 411 on some fashion tips and I gotta say, she was right." He pulls something from one of the racks and poses with it.

You bark out a laugh, "Dave you could never pull off a denim skirt. Are your legs long enough for that?"

"Fuck you. It could be a dress too. This is versatile. Versatility is the new black, John, get with the program." John. Why does that feel weird?

"Sure sure, whatever you say Versace." You snicker and grin, looking through the other clothes on the rack for her. Her… that's kind of nice. You pick through the swathes of fabric and you're not really sure what you're looking for so you think 'what would Liv Tyler wear?' There's a green flowy skirt that kind of looks like moss and makes you think about Lord of The Rings. "What about this?" You hold it out for him.

Dave examines it up and down and reaches out to feel the soft fabric. "Damn, alright Egbert. Add it to the cart and I can have myself a fashion show," he huff's a small laugh.

You have to hide your blush and how big you smile when he says that. He likes the skirt you picked out for him… it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. 

Oh.

Your hand brushes against another skirt that catches your eye. It's navy blue and really really soft, it kind of reminds you of your god tier pajamas. Hmmm… 

You add it to the cart just for funzies and try to cover it up with a really cool leather jacket nearby. It's all brown and looks like the ones they wore in Top Gun. Dave doesn't really pay attention because they're off looking at all the other clothes and shoes. He finds these really shiny tall red heels that make you winge just looking at them. "Good luck wearing those without falling."

"I can fly now, who cares."

"That's cheating."

"Nuh uh."

"Yah huh. I bet Rose would agree with me." You stick your tongue out him and look at a pair of oxfords that you think your dad would like.

"Bringing Rose into this is cheating."

"Nuh uh."

"Yah huh." 

You can't help yourself, you giggle wild and free, happy and comfortable to be here with Dave. You kind of want to kiss him. You're not sure if you'll ever be ready for that though. 

"Let me see those," he says, and you pass on the oxfords while he gives you another pair of shoes he was holding. 

These look much sturdier than the red heels. They're wedges you think they're called? That kind of look like they're made of rope and string. They're pretty cute. You add them to the cart.

The both of you continue looking around and Dave grabs way more clothes than you think he could possibly wear but you're excited to see him in them all the same. "Okay Egbutts. Gonna try these bad babes on, you chill out here or try on whatever I don't care." They say with a pat on your shoulder. They always care, it's really cute how he tries to deny it.

"Okie doke. Have fun. Show me your really cool ones." You make sure to tell him, and he responds by shoving his middle finger down his throat then-- jegus-- he sucks on it as he pulls it out with a lewd "pop!" And flips you off into the stall. You don't know whether you love that or hate it because it always makes you a little tight in the pants. 

Well, at least pants shouldn't be too much or a problem anymore, you think. You shuffle into another fitting room stall with your small haul and lock the door. You're just trying on stuff, it's cool, it doesn't mean anything. What if you want it to? Well it doesn't HAVE to mean anything. Still, you're gnawing on your lip as you take off your shoes and shimmy your pants down in front of the mirror, then grab the dark blue skirt. 

You step into it one foot at a time, and gingerly pull it up past your wobbly knees to your shaking thighs until it rests at your hip. 

Oh. 

Hm.

You take out your god tier shirt from your sylladex and put it on and oh yeah that really works. It's a good shade of blue to go with the skirt. And it makes you feel… pretty. And nice. Kind of like when you were little and thought about Con Air a lot, especially when Nic Cage gives Liv Tyler and Casey the bunny. You kind of just assumed yourself as Nic Cage, but what if you were Liv Tyler? What if Dave was the Cage to your Tyler.

You snicker, knowing he'd kill you if you ever say that. You make a note to tell him.

The shoes come next and they slide on surprisingly easy with little fussing about at the straps. And what the hey, you put on the leather jacket too. You look at yourself. Really truly look at yourself.

You kinda look like a disaster. But somehow you've never felt more excited. You look so good, like a real girl, and that thought alone terrifies you and overjoys you in equal parts. 

"John! You gotta check this out." You jump at Dave's voice and quickly open the door.

"What is-- oh my god!" You snicker and step out to see him properly. There stands Dave is his disastrous glory; Oxford shoes and argyle socks, the long denim skirt pulled up to his chest until the end of it is at his knees, and an unbuttoned plaid flannel around his shoulders.

"Huh? Huh? Pretty good, right?"

"Man, I don't think my eyes can recover from this!" You laugh and grin. "I think our old Earth would be so disappointed in your choices," you tease and tsk, shaking your head. 

He's quiet though, just staring. Shit did you say something wrong?

"Dave?"

"Woah."

"What?"

"You look good."

"Wh- what?"

"I said," he moves closer and pulls your shoulders to move you in front of the mirror with them. "You look good."

You gulp and blush deep oh god it's totally noticeable with the blue there and you bow your head. "Ah, thanks. I was just dicking around."

"John."

"Hm?"

"You look. Good." He says it more firmly and finally let's go of your shoulders even though you didn't realize he was still touching them, and you kind of miss it. "How do you feel in it?"

You huff out a raspberry, "I dunno, like a girl."

"Yeah?" His tone is soft and kind of thoughtful, you don't hear it like that all that often.

"Well I mean," you swallow nervously and look at yourself in the mirror. Something about the two of you standing here all dressed up makes it feel kind of like those Disney channel movies, where the girls would go shopping with their friends. The connection makes you smile, not your usual grin but an actual smile. Closed around your teeth and soft. You trust Dave, you… really really like him. He also seems to know a lot about this stuff, right? So… "I feel nice."

He nods for you to continue.

"Like, um," you start to sway side to side and let the skirt flow back and forth. "Like I feel like a girl and that's okay? Er, not that it's very different except it is. It's really different and I don't know why I feel so comfortable wearing it."

"You don't gotta know, just go where the feelings flow." You can tell he's smiling at you a bit in his voice. "You look like you're comfortable."

"Really?"

"Mhmm."

Your blush deepens and you want to kiss him and ask him out and go for a fly together or a walk or something. All of a sudden you just feel so confident and ready to ask him. Like when you came into your new universe and there was so much to see and do. Except it's with Dave. 

Why do you feel like this? All because of an outfit? You'll have to ask Rose about it probably get her to dig around in your brain for some answers. 

"Do you want to look at more clothes?" Dave's voice interrupts you from your thoughts.

"What? Oh… oh sure!" 

You change back into your regular clothes and go along with Dave looking through the store for more. Except this time he's finding things for you to try on. Skirts and shirts and shoes and things. All feminine looking it feels like, but it's still the most fun you've ever had looking for clothes. Plus like you'd turn down Dave's attention on you and your looks. You never cared about this sort of thing. Is it because of Dave or is it something else? 

"Hey Dave?" You focus very intently on a pair of sparkly red flats.

"Hm?"

"How did… you know you were genderfluid?" You feel hot and warm and it feels weird just asking about it like you're asking Rose a question during her teaching and she gives you the face that you probably said something transphobic without realizing.

Except he doesn't give you that look and he actually looks a little embarrassed himself. "Oh. It's sort of a long story."

"You're god of time we have plenty of that stuff."

"Oh yeah you're right, what was I thinking." He laughs and you bump his shoulder. "I guess I just realized fuck being a dude, I'm just me. Whatever that means. I don't gotta subscribe to anyone's rules." 

You quietly nod and absorb it, thinking quietly. That is until your stupid mouth goes off and you say, "you can just _do_ that?"

He laughs at you and you toss a pair of shoes into the cart in a chuckle, "Yeah man. Gotta get on your self reflection and think about what's you and what's everything else."

"But I thought I knew me…"

Dave pats your shoulder and you sigh into it, "Same. Might not even know ourselves all the way now."

"You're being really open about this."

"What can I say, sometimes I'm feeling motherfucking matrimonial and sometimes you deserve some grade-A Strider advice what with leading us to the new universe and all."

You roll your eyes at him, "Oh gee whiz thank you Strider Sensei I'm so honored to receive your special knowledge."

"Duly noted, pupil. Now off with you, into the fitting room and try on those clothes."

This time in the fitting room, you aren't as shy about taking off your clothes and putting on some new ones. You always hated shopping with your dad, and you really didn't care whether one pair of jeans fit more than the other. But right now you're tearing everything apart with excitement to try it all on and check yourself out in all of these new looks. Skirts, dresses, heels, flats, blouses, capris, jackets, so many things. 

You take your time to admire yourself privately without Dave there, just to think about things. Would it… be so bad if you were a girl? You guess you wouldn't have a choice in it anyway but it's more of an embracing thing, right? 

You're a girl.

You think about it. It feels… fragile. But weirdly okay? It makes you smile to think about, especially with these clothes on. You're a girl. It doesn't feel concrete or anything but it feels like… you.

There's a knock on the door, "C'mon Egbert, lemme see the goods."

You open the door and step out with a modest blue skirt and shirt with a draping crochet shawl. "What do you think?"

Dave's mouth is a little open and his previously crossed arms drop to his sides. "You can't do me like this."

"What do you mean?"

He leads you over to the mirror again and points at you, "This."

"Is it… not good?" You stomach almost drops, but he saves it.

"No way, it's really fucking great. You look amazing Egbert what the fuck man."

You blush and duck your head down, scratching the back of your neck, "Really?"

"Yeah dude, you're killing it right now. You almost look like Jane or Jade."

Something about that makes you feel like you're on fire in the best ways, as if you'd break the ceiling soaring out of here with glee. That's so great, that's awesome. You're really glad you look like an actual girl. Like you could pull that off that maybe… "Hey Dave?"

"Hm?"

"What if… I am one."

"What do you mean?"

"A girl, I mean."

"You're transgender?" His voice is softer while you squeak out.

"Maybe. I don't know. I've been thinking about it a lot and I don't really know how I'm supposed to know or not but this is really fun and I wanna keep doing stuff like this and be called different stuff." You shiver when he places a hand on the middle of your back between your shoulder blades and softly rubs.

"Do you want me to call you 'she'?"

Your lips move automatically in a small little smile, "Yeah I think- I think I want to try that out. If that's okay."

"Dude this is literally your life in our universe, of course it's okay."

You smile at him through the mirror.

"Do you have a different name you'd want me to use for you too?"

"Hmm I hadn't really thought about it all that much, honestly."

He hums and continues to rub your back. It's really comforting and nice, you automatically lean against him more. "What about, June?"

"June?"

"Yeah, June Egbert."

There's something about being assigned a name that feels old hat and bluh, but when Dave does it feels… right. You look at yourself in the mirror with your skirt and shawl and Dave. You're a girl, June Egbert. It feels strange in an unfamiliar way, but it feels… right. "Yeah, okay, June Egbert. Lady at large," you giggle a little to yourself and Dave huff's a laugh from his nose. 

"Hell yeah. That's really cool," he pulls away from you and without even thinking, you grab his wrist to keep him close. "Uh."

"Oh shit, sorry. I just, that was really nice," you let go of his hand and blush.

"What was?"

"Hm?"

"What was nice?"

"What? Oh c'mon, I don't actually have to say it right?" You grumbles at him.

"C'mon June," oh wow oh fuck yeah that's good, "you're learning about yourself, you gotta dig deep and talk about it. What was nice?"

Your face is beet red and ugggghhhh why is he so annoyingly charming. "It was nice, when you, rubbed, my back, and stuff," your voice trails off at the end quietly.

"There we go. See? Wasn't that hard."

"I don't feel like you should be the one making me do that," you grumble more but your smile hasn't faded. 

"You don't think I can talk about my emotions?"

"You've gotten better about it, but no."

He gasps dramatically and places his hand on his chest, "June Egbert, well I never." Holy shit you like that. You really like it when he calls you that. It's just so nice and pleasing and makes you all fluttery. 

"Go on then, talk about some emotional stuff. Got any big secrets?" You tease him.

"What? No. I mean yeah but I'm not going to go spill any, why do you? You wanna spill anymore beans with me today? It's cool I'm here for it. I'm just a run of the mill bean farmer just for you and all of your spilled beans."

You roll your eyes again and move towards the changing stall, "Don't go turning the tables. And no way man, even if I did, I'd never tell you." Like your big gay (not gay?) Crush on him.

"Then why do I have to tell a secret," he keeps talking when you close the door and begin to change again.

"Because you suck at being emotional."

"So do you."

"No way, I just had a whole moment right there."

"I was there too, my moment was congruent with your moment. The moments gonna go on a cheesy date and hold hands and watch shitty movies."

You snort and pull up your pants, "The moment? Damn the moment is getting more action than me."

"You want to go on a cheesy date?"

"Yeah dude, always. That sounds so awesome, especially the part with the very good unshitty movies. And also the holding hands but Jesus Christ we're in public could you not be so lewd?" You giggle at him and you can hear a muffled laugh from him too.

"Yeah? So then what about it then."

"Hm?"

"You wanna go on a cheesy date?"

You open the door and gather the clothes you're thinking of getting. "Hm? I just said yeah."

"But I meant with me."

"What do you mean?"

He sighs exasperatedly at you and you _think_ you know what he's getting at but you don't want to be jumping to conclusions. "Thick idiot. I mean, June Egbert, do you want to go on a date with me or maybe turn this hang out into a date I don't really know. It's okay to say no though like no sweat I'm not about to make you do some nasty naughty shit with me like hold hands."__

_ _Your face hurts. Your grin is big and wide and you feel warm from head to toe. You might actually be floating a little off the ground too, whoops. "Yes." Your head bows, "I'd really like that."_ _

_ _"Cool."_ _

_ _"Cool."_ _

_ _"Neat."_ _

_ _"Neat."_ _

_ _"Ok let's not do that."_ _

_ _You laugh and walk with him towards the register, bumping shoulders and brushing hands along the way. It's the start of something beautiful._ _

_ _"Do I get to be the Liv Tyler to your Nic Cage?"_ _

_ _"June please don't ruin the moment."_ _


End file.
